Safe
by SongsofPsyche1945
Summary: After the events of Seeing Red, Buffy seeks out Xander for comfort. (One shot. Trigger warning for panic attacks and general distress).


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Xander sat motionless in his apartment, the beams of the moonlight casting criss cross shadows across his darkened living room floor. It was nearly midnight, or at least, he thought it was. It was hard to keep track now, with insomnia ruling his mind. Flashes of the past events; Willow's black eyes, Tara's lifeless ones, the bruises on Buffy's legs as she shivered on the floor past in his mind's eye relentlessly and taking away any possibility of sleep. How had it all come to this? The single actions of Spike had put in motion events that had torn apart the life he had known, leaving nothing but ruin and heartbreak.

Xander closed his eyes as the now familiar feelings of hot rage pulsed through his veins as he thought of Spike. That bastard had taken everything that he had loved; Anya, Buffy, Willow and had single handedly torn them apart. In Xander's exhuasted mind, Warren had played a small part in this destruction. Warren had simply been the catalyst; it was Spike who had been the true villain.

Xander was brought out of this maddening cycle of thoughts by a timid knock at his door. He remained motionless at first, thinking it was a trick of his mind but then he heard it again.

Slowly, as if walking through molasses Xander stood up and walked towards the door. He opened it to reveal a wide-eyed, very pale Buffy.

"Buff?" He asked

Buffy looked up at him with red, teary eyes.

"Xander...I..." She started, but then she shook her head. A single tear fell from her face and landed on the floor.

"What happened?" Xander asked

Buffy simply shook her head again.

"Come inside." Xander offered, opening the door wider.

Buffy walked in like a sleepwalker. She passed him and sat on the couch, putting her head in her hands. Her breathes came in shaky gasps.

"Buffy?" Xander asked

Buffy started at his voice.

Xander quickly walked towards her, but then stopped when he saw her flinch away from him. He stood there in the middle of the floor, at total loss of what to do. There was a vibrating sense of dis-ease in the air as he listened to his friend, the vampire slayer, sob helplessly on the couch.

"Buffy." Xander said again, reaching for her.

She flinched away from him again, "Don't."

Xander put his hands up in the air.

"Okay. Okay. No touching."

Slowly, very slowly Xander stepped sideways and sank into a chair.

Ten minutes passed, then twenty. Xander was at a complete loss at what to do. He watched helpplessly as Buffy battled for her breath, for control of her body.

"It's okay, Buffy. Just try to breath. You will be okay." Xander tried

Buffy shot him an incredulous look.

"Just breathe. In and out. Slowly. Like this." Xander said, taking in a deep breath, and then letting it out.

Buffy just shook her head.

"I need...I need a minute...please."

"Okay, Buff." Xander said.

And silence descended once again.

Then the phone rang, loud in the darkness of the night.

Xander jumped up for it, dropping it once before answering it.

"Hello?"

"Xander?" Came Dwan's frightened voice.

"It's okay, Dawnie. She's here." He answered.

"I woke up and I was all alone."

"I know. Just sit tight, we're coming." He said softly.

"Okay."

And then silence.

Xander put down the phone, and turned back around towards Buffy, who hadn't moved an inch from the couch.

"Dawn." He explained

"Dawn? Oh." Came her reply, in a brittle whisper.

"We should get back to her."

"Okay."

Yet she remained where she was on the couch, eyes staring at something that Xander couldn't see.

Xander took a step towards her, but stopped when he saw her back stiffen.

"Don't." She whispered again.

Xander stepped back.

"Okay. It's okay Buff, I'm not going to hurt you."

Not knowing what else to do, Xander sunk to the floor and sat down, crossing his legs.

They sat there in silence. A siren wailed in the distance, making them both jump.

"I keep dreaming about it, how close he came to hurting me." Buffy finally said, breaking the silence, her voice echoing across the dark room.

She sunk down off of the couch and onto the floor, grasping her hair in her hands.

"It won't stop. It will never stop. I can't make it. He will never stop." She whispered.

Xander scooted an inch towards her, making sure his movements were steady and slow.

"He's long gone now, Buffy. He won't hurt you again." Xander said, and he scooted another inch.

"Stop. Stop. Make it stop. Please." Buffy chanted, now she was rocking back and forth, hands still clutching her hair, eyes closed.

Xander was now two feet away from her, hands outstretched but completely lost at what to do.

The rocking and chanting suddenly stopped, and Buffy froze in place, her eyes flashed open and she looked at him in the eye for the first time that night.

"Xander?"

"Yes, Buff. I'm here." Xander answered.

And finally, finally she reached for him, taking his hands and pulling them close to her chest. Xander could feel her shaking and he pulled her close.

"It's okay, Buffy. I'm here. Nobody is going to hurt you. You're safe now." Xander said gently into her hair. He clutched her tight, well away of the rare moment of raw vulnerability.

"You're gonna be okay. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay now." Xander whispered, rocking her back and forth.

After a few more minutes, Buffy stilled. She took a deep breath, and then clutched him in a bone shattering hug.

"I'm sorry, Xander. For putting you through this. For everything." She whispered from the vicinity of his shoulder.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." Xandered answered.

Buffy stilled, and then she pulled away from Xander to look at his face.

"Dawn?" She asked

"She called, she didn't know where you were."

Buffy nodded, "Could you-."

"I'll bring you home."

She nodded again.

"Okay."

The drive home was silent, but the vibrating sense of dis-ease was gone, replaced with a blanket of warm peacefulness.

Xander parked the car in the driveway and turned off the engine.

"Ready?" He asked

Buffy nodded silently.

Slowly, making sure she saw his movements Xander got out of the car, walked around the front and opened up the passenger door, he took a few steps back giving Buffy space to get out on her own.

Buffy closed the door quietly, and then turned around to look her him, her eyes glinting in the moonlight.

Xander simply offered his hand, and she took it. He then gently led her into the house, up the stairs and into her bedroom.

Buffy sat on the bed, hands touching her pillow. Then she turned to him.

"You'll stay?" She asked

Xander nodded his head, "Of course."

He watched as she settled into her bed, and closed her eyes.

Xander pulled over a chair and sat down next to her, smiling at the finally peaceful expression on his friends face.

A Dawn shaped shadow appeared in the doorway.

"You're home." She whispered.

Xander nodded silently.

Dawn walked over to them, sat on the bed and curled up next to the sleeping Buffy.

Xander looked at his two friends, two pieces of this crazy messed up world that still warmed his heart, two pieces of glowing light.

They were all finally safe.

Then he closed his eyes, and slept.

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Thanks for reading! I am a longtime fan of the show, but this is my first time writing in the fandom. Please me nice! I would love a like, favorite and review!


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